time, papers and little things
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| "There are perks and flaws in growing up and getting busy with life." |
For someone who had her heads in the clouds for the past 17 years, I fell in love with studying. People might never understand how the hell I love studying when all it does is tire your brain out. But to me, studying is a form of escape from how much of a mess my mind actually is. To read, learn something new and putting it into handwritten notes is somewhat a pleasure to me. Maybe it's because of what I'm learning, of how interested I am with it because it was the only thing I was good at.
My favorite part of my first year in uni was the fact one of my assignment consisted of having to read "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery and write about it. I fell in love with a book in a way that i never have before, to get to know the details of every little thing in the book and appreciating it as it is. It made me fall back in love with reading and reminded me of how books was my best friend. How good it felt to breathe in words again.
And there were days where my mental state was never at its best, but the piles of work that sat on my table helped me get busy again instead of dwelling on the cruel words my mind threw at me. At the end of the day, when the work and the notes are done, I treat myself with a good movie and accompanied by a fancy home cooked meal. It was an accomplishment despite how fragile my mental state was at the time.
I'm almost turning 20, looking back, I realized how much I've grown and changed and lost over the years. I lost all my high school friends in a blink of an eye, and it took a toll on me.
A few weeks later, I find myself in the comfort of late night karaoke sessions, pouring our hearts out, weird afternoon conversations, among my small circle of beautiful souls. It took me almost 20 years to find true friends and I could never thank enough of how beautiful this feeling is.
But sometimes I get too busy studying because that's my passion and hanging out too much but I forget how to take a step back and breathe in love.
Love is not only a boy with golden brown eyes but a cup of coffee in a cute ass cafe, a book that holds a thousand miracles that changes your life, a walk late at night in cities that you're surrounded with. You get too busy with life that you forget to breathe in love.
Love that are in infinite amount of forms, in the littlest things.
yours truly,
ghost.
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