Societal Pressures
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| "who are you?" |
using it as weapon of mass destruction if you may,
I try not to think of how I perceive the people in my life,
Because it would hurt them in a lot of ways.
But as our age goes on a downhill
I can't help but grow with a guidance,
I learned to see people, through a rose-colored sunglasses,
yet with the hamartia they drag around like ankled-chains
I learned to adapt to the different parts of me to different audience
nevertheless, a struggle and a contribution to the self loathe i own,
I grew to build a life that I refuse to live
around the people that are blind to the essentials.
Yet I sat here, tearing pieces and layers of who I am,
being left with the small, fragile little girl
refusing pain and strength, all withered
Something that exposed her like the scorching fires of Babylon
introducing her to the land of misfits, enamored by it by then,
The cold harshness of the ice layered venomous words,
like a slap to reality
to all the fatal flaws I let grow
to all the unspoken words I never sow
to all the pain and sadness I own
Ignorance wasn't as blissful as they say
It damages you inside and out
Because the world you put yourself in became a mirror
You wonder, was the high worth it all
did the alcohol numbed everything away
was all the casual sex ever got enough
did they ever come back to old painful habits
going back to hating themselves for all the mistakes they've done
so they cover all the shame and mishaps up
with a carpet of new year, new me over it
nailed shut with all the trauma and unresolved pain seeping through it
they start projecting their hate and pain like the lightning strike
inflicting pain upon others and a cycle of toxicity created
a never ending cycle all over the place
They flaunt their mistakes like it's all a catwalk
saying "It's okay, we go to hell anyways,"
they drag others to the harmful road in the dark
thinking that they're the most interesting ones to walk the place
like a magnet for all the lights saying "Nox"
refusing to drop the ignorance it's something hot.
They deny the ones who were pure,
spitting them out and licking it all back up when the pain comes
the ones that they let disappear, finding more loss in the blindness
They become so integrated with pain that it became them
they lost who they truly are with the essence
due to societal pressures that drowned them.
yours truly,
rosy
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