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| "Everything;s a delicate touch away from changing." |
- Loving yourself meant accepting every flaw that your body owns, all the past mistakes that have haunted you, the pain you've inflicted, the hidden parts of you, every inch of your ugliest parts. Not only the wonders of who you are but the very things that make up who you are. Love yourself completely and wholeheartedly and you'll see the little changes in your life.
- Relationships that are forced will only cause more damage to the point it's out of reach. It could be relationships formed out of blood relatives, forcing yourself to like someone out of fear of pain towards the other person, out of courtesy. Cutting off these people may seem scary but for the wellness of your being, it seems like the only option you have rather than let the guilt and pain eat you up inside.
- Indulging the pain and negativity within you has always done irreparable damage and gotten you nowhere except making you hide from the world. Too much pain is not the way you would treat someone who's already hurt.
- No one is a mind reader, although you think that they know you the best, sometimes they're clueless to the very thoughts that crosses your mind. Opening up and letting them in helps them comprehend you better, knowing you in ways other people failed to see. Though, take extra care in who you choose to bare your soul out.
- Each person you have in your life has their own love language, in the way they show their care for you, the trust they have in you, the littlest things they have uttered and done in regards to you. It's not the same as yours but that doesn't mean they don't love you enough. They love you, you just have to learn to see it.
- In relationships, it's not about who loves the other person more, who's more attentive, who spends more, none of that really matters. Loving each other is what really matters. What matters is the effort being put in, taking care of each other, watering each other's growth and loving them unconditionally. Love is blind in terms of what matters to you is the feelings you have for them, and the love they hold for you. There's no system to measure love, so love them in every way you can.
- No matter how much you have in your life, we will always feel like it's never enough. We keep looking for more and more but often in the wrong places. What you have right now, it's more than enough. Take time to pour your gratitude in the chances you have been given, the things you've owned and done, the moments, places and people that you've been blessed with. Fuck capitalism and the materialistic world, they ruin your life anyways.
- This sounds ugly, but most of the things that have took place in your life is not your fault but it is your responsibility to choose which path you take from there. You didn't ask for all the pain, mistakes and ugly parts in your life, but it's your choice to how you handle it. You could be patient, see and try to understand the reason behind it all or let it consume your whole life, be dead inside. You're responsible for your own self. It's never your fault. But it happens for your own growth.
- You just stepped into your 20s, that doesn't mean you have to be a fully functional working adult. It's not wrong to still be dependent, it' okay to reach out for help because you're still learning. There are people who are willing to help but understand that people have their own lives to live. They may be a major part in your life but don't stop them from living their lives. You may share a life with them, but don't stop your life for them.
- Emotions are demanded to be felt. The anger, sadness, excitement you're feeling inside, it calls out to you because it's trying to help you understand yourself better. Being emotionally aware helps you recover if you take actions towards it in a healthy way. Bottling it up will only drown you and even if you're screaming out for help, people won't know how to help something that you yourself don't understand. Let it out, write it down, talk it out, help it get out of your system before it plants down its' roots.
- Religion is often neglected in our daily lives, we only seek it in the harshest storms instead of making it the pillars of our life. Although your practices are imperfect, don't ever forget Him. Your prayers, your aurah, Quran recitations, obligations might not be perfect in the eyes of other people, but what matters is God's opinion of you. If you take good care of your relationship with Him, you'll feel so at ease in your heart and mind and nothing else would really matter when you put your complete trust in Him. It's okay, the people might point out and judge you but what matters the most is between you and Him.
- You'll always feel like you're running out of time, money and space. So fuck it, treat other people in ways more than what they deserved as if it's the last few days you're gonna be alive. Leave them little gifts or notes to show how much they meant to you, bring them to places you'd want to have moments with them, don't hold yourself back when it comes to showing tenderness to the people you hold the closest to your heart. We'll never know what people struggle through every day, we'll never know when we're gonna lose them, we'll never know when we'll have our last breath.We will never know. The last days will somehow make you feel more at ease.
- Everything is a delicate touch away from changing. You will always change without you realizing it. So, turning back to the old things that have once brought you joy might not be as pleasurable as it once was, it can be hard and frustrating but if seeing your fingertips being stained by ink and paint makes you nostalgic and appreciative of the moments you've spent, then why not? You can find another billion new things to try, instead of thinking too much about it, just go ahead and take the risk. Might be life changing, might be frustrating, but it's gonna be one of those things that make up who you are today.
- We're so blinded by financial stability and academic success that we often leave behind our passions and joy, leading a beat end life. It could be a goal but sometimes the pressure to have it can often sink you. It's not everything. Life is not always easy but you're gonna dream of just a small apartment that can fit you, him, the little kids you're gonna have and a bunch of pets and it will be enough. It won't be easy breezy but you'll carry each other. You'll be grateful for the love you hold in that house, the moments you're gonna create and just be grateful for what you have.
- Self-loathing is the cruelest thing you're putting yourself into. You're causing pain to someone who's already hurting so much, abusing the vessel with self-destructing habits, and keeping them at the bottom of the ocean. Self care is a lot like taking care of your kid, you compliment them at the littlest things they do, feed them their favorite food, bring them to places they would enjoy, bathing them and tucking them into bed comfortably. Taking care of yourself can just be proud of yourself for painting on a small piece of paper, finishing an assignment, buying yourself flowers and having music on during your showers. You wouldn't treat your kids the way you would treat yourself now.
- The ones who you once to care and trust could be the very person leading you to your own demise. They'll do anything to hurt you, break you, sometimes even pushing you to end your life. Don't let them, don't lose yourself for them, don't hurt and blame yourself for something that they did, especially when there are still others who hold such tenderness and care for you. Don't let them be the force in your life, instead, turn that pain into something that drives you to be the better version of yourself for the ones who wants the best for you. Don't stoop down to their level or give them the satisfaction of killing you. Focus on the ones that tried their very best to embrace you with warmth and love.
- When you're hurting, you're causing others pain too. You might not see the mistakes you've done, the hurtful words you slipped, the negativity you're giving out but it happens, especially when pain fills you to the point it spills like an overflowing sink. It's important to always talk it out, apologize and not let it happen again. But it might be too late and removing yourself from the equation could be a healthier option for you and them. People will always come and go, you'll lose them even if you tried to fight it but there's always a reason as to why certain people are not in your life anymore. It will be painful but you'll have more chances to explore the little constellations hidden in other people.
- I have found that writing is the most intimate part of me. I learned that through writing pages after pages of letters to the ones who owned my very soul and heart, through the 280 characters displayed on my twitter, the prose I have typed out in this blog and the lines I have scribbled down in the small journals in my tote bag. It became a way for me to be more in touch with the parts of myself that I have hidden, to heal and to show just how much tenderness I hold for these people. In the same way I learned music to be a way to define moments and emotions that are kept in those beats and melodic voices. The two things I choose to share with only the ones that I share my life with.
- You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous. You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others who can't go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass and allowing the pleasure in other days. You go on by finding a channel for your love and another for your rage. You just go on. That's the only choice you have, may be the reason you're still here, breathing and going on.
Yours truly,
rosy cheeks.
