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| "Take me back to the night i fell in love with you" |
For a while, sadness was nothing but a forgotten memory. Although underneath the dark sky, with stars littering all over, there was never a hint of misery in her heart. The moment her eyes fell on that familiar silhouette of a tall boy with a cloud shaped hair, she could feel the stars bursting out of her. Simply at the sight of him, she was beyond happy. She met him, saw him a thousand times before yet that one night felt different.
Maybe it’s the way she had held in all that sadness within her.
Maybe it’s the way he pulled her into his arms with no hesitation.
Maybe it’s the soft comfort within him that made it felt much more of a safe space rather than flesh and bones.
Maybe it’s just the way they are.
Songs after songs went on yet she craved the taste of cigarettes dangling between her dark red lipstick with him by her side, rapping along to the songs on his playlist. That’s the moments she always looked forward to although it blackens the lungs in both of their lungs yet it didn’t matter as it was some kind of a relief. But she sat there, feet glued to the floor, hands shivering from the cold, she didn’t feel the loneliness creeping in yet, because around her was these people only wanting the best for her and across the room, a soft boy playing with a balloon as he looked at the crowd.
A soft boy who grew to became one of the beautiful soul she ever met in her life. Indeed, a soft boy, for his heart was filled with infinite pools of love, kindness and patience for others although they have wronged him, left him when all he deserves is the whole galaxy made just for him.
Snap! Snap! Snap!
Countless of pictures taken to remember the night, and all those times, he was next to her offering his presence to make the crowd less fearful in her eyes, the laughs in between those pictures and the eyes of the people looking at them. In a way, they never saw her in that light, only seeing that side of her when he was nearby. They noticed how she would always disappear the moment the boy appears, wishing they had the chance to have the cherished moments they shared together.
With the simple grab of her hand within his long fingers, she held onto it and he seemed like an anchor to the earth. for the first time, she thought “fuck it” and let the beat took over the whole night. It was a rare occasion to just let loose and enjoy the moment but it felt so easy when there was a comforting presence near her. It felt liberating. Looking at him, and seeing the glow of his smile taking over his features with those sly moves of his, she had never felt happier to see him happy.
It wasn’t intentional but the passing moments she saw her reflection in the mirror, everything about her looked wrong and it was just those random times where her brain chose to be harsh on herself but he drove her home that night, not giving a chance to depression to consume her. She would often feel scared in the car due to her father’s habit of speeding, swerving and running the red lights that had her grip on the handle of the door, holding her breath while waiting it to be over.
But nothing went wrong, he was the perfect driver. Not scary. Just steady. And fast. She wanted the music on his playlist to lasts forever. The late night drives have always been her most favourite thing in the world. Everything else is sleeping, and the whole world feels like it’s their own secret.
All along that drive, she had to held herself back from smiling. There was too much happiness contained within that petite body of hers, yet his eyes stayed on the road. But her eyes caught a gleam of the chain circling his wrist. The chain she gave him, with a little Picasso’s art as its own charm. That charm was one of her most beloved belongings, staying in a small box of pretty things she keeps in the back of her cupboard. The only reason she gave it to him was how he reminded her of a beautiful soul who itself is a masterpiece, inside and outside. She knows that he’s unaware of it, yet in the littlest things, she tries to make him see it.
The nights with Sky has always been beautiful. Never in a million years she would’ve seen herself sitting next to the boy who was way too good for her. Yet here they are, in comfortable silence and Daniel Caesar’s voice setting the night away.
On certain bad days, the sadness won. The pain won. And there was no one to hold onto. She came back home and the tears would just pour endlessly. Even when it’s all dried up, the pain never left. The only she knew how to get it out was to tear her skin apart. The blade was set between her fingers, her mind was screaming “Just press and drag, press and drag, press and drag” but she knew this time, the scar would go deeper. But flashes of the night came back and she took a deep breath, putting the blade away and looking at her phone, contemplating if she should hit him up or not.
He was always a good listener with a tendency to make everything felt better. His voice come out in a low tone from the phone and somehow, it beats all of her favorite songs. With a simple Hello, and the whole night was more than what she bargained for. Never she would have thought to have the privilege of listening to his beautiful words and knowing him more and more as the days pass by.
With a tough exterior yet the flowers within him blooms effortlessly in the darkest of times. A soft boy, yes, he is.
