letters to you: August 2018

"out of sight but you're not out of my mind"

I wanted the type of love where labels were never our thing, where we were just two souls in love, the moon was the witness of our adventures and the connection between us were far more breathtaking than the stars' love towards the moon.

I wanted the "kiss me with adventure" "i made you a playlist" "i wrote something for you" "this made me think of you" "late night adventures" type of love.

I wanted someone to just randomly ask me out for late night walks where we listen to each other's playlist together and fingers intertwined as our steps match against the beat of our songs.

I wanted someone to sing out loud in the car with as we drive through cities together and the wind's in my hair and his eyes are filled with stars.

I wanted someone to dance with in the middle of the store's aisle just because we heard our song playing through the speakers.

I wanted to hold someone's hand while we run through the art gallery together and whisper in their ear how beautiful they are to be such a masterpiece, putting the rest to shame when they're here with me.

I wanted someone to go to cafes with and have coffee together without uttering a single word, where we just enjoy each other's company and breathe in the words we wrote for each other, how lovely would it be.

I wanted someone to paint the sky on canvas with me but just ended up drawing each other with few strokes of pastel colors against our clothes and skin.

I wanted someone to call me up at 2 a.m, pouring their hearts out of how endlessly in love they are at the moment and sometimes, those ungodly hours is the time where we would say the things we're afraid to say when the sun is up.

I wanted someone to just make my heart hammer against my chest only because their eyes managed to find mine among the sea of people between us. And it makes us feel like we're the only ones matter at the moment, to each other.

I wanted this type of love to not hurt.

I wanted this to last forever.

I want this type of love to be the ones I find myself sitting on the kitchen floor at 4 a.m with because my heart tends to feel heavy when the world is asleep, and I needed someone to hold my hand and kiss my scars and make me forget the immense pain I felt throughout the past years.

I wanted this type of love to be the ones I find myself dancing with to our playlist in the living room when the kids are asleep and this is the only time we have for ourselves.

I wanted this type of love to be the ones I spend my Sunday mornings with in bed as we look though a box of polaroid pictures and tell the stories behind each one of it.

I wanted this type of love to be the ones I see the world with, and fall in love with the universe all over again.

I wanted a type of love that was far to good for me to even have. I wanted a type of love that I knew I didn't deserve. But with my head in the clouds, everything seems so beautiful for once. I'll break my own heart waiting for my lover, but there's nothing wrong of having a breathtaking kind of love to dream of.

yours truly,

ghost.

"There are perks and flaws in growing up and getting busy with life."

For someone who had her heads in the clouds for the past 17 years, I fell in love with studying. People might never understand how the hell I love studying when all it does is tire your brain out. But to me, studying is a form of escape from how much of a mess my mind actually is. To read, learn something new and putting it into handwritten notes is somewhat a pleasure to me. Maybe it's because of what I'm learning, of how interested I am with it because it was the only thing I was good at.
My favorite part of my first year in uni was the fact one of my assignment consisted of having to read "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery and write about it. I fell in love with a book in a way that i never have before, to get to know the details of every little thing in the book and appreciating it as it is. It made me fall back in love with reading and reminded me of how books was my best friend. How good it felt to breathe in words again.

And there were days where my mental state was never at its best, but the piles of work that sat on my table helped me get busy again instead of dwelling on the cruel words my mind threw at me. At the end of the day, when the work and the notes are done, I treat myself with a good movie and accompanied by a fancy home cooked meal. It was an accomplishment despite how fragile my mental state was at the time.

I'm almost turning 20, looking back, I realized how much I've grown and changed and lost over the years. I lost all my high school friends in a blink of an eye, and it took a toll on me.
A few weeks later, I find myself in the comfort of late night karaoke sessions, pouring our hearts out, weird afternoon conversations, among my small circle of beautiful souls. It took me almost 20 years to find true friends and I could never thank enough of how beautiful this feeling is.

But sometimes I get too busy studying because that's my passion and hanging out too much but I forget how to take a step back and breathe in love.
Love is not only a boy with golden brown eyes but a cup of coffee in a cute ass cafe, a book that holds a thousand miracles that changes your life, a walk late at night in cities that you're surrounded with. You get too busy with life that you forget to breathe in love.
Love that are in infinite amount of forms, in the littlest things.

yours truly,
ghost.

letters to you

h e r

S P O T I F Y

T W I T T E R

I N S T A G R A M

f i n d m o r e

Labels

welcome

Sad Breakfast Club

recent posts

Categories

Blog Archive

Contact Form

Subscribe

Popular Posts