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| " God. please just fucking stop this pain. " |
Tell me, did it make you feel any better than the way you love me?
How did it felt like? Tearing me piece by piece, inch by inch, chewing me and spitting me out on the goddamn floor when all I have you was my everything?
Tell me, does your heart fucking ache when my tears were choking my voice and depression swallowed me whole and the self hatred becomes a reminder that I didn't deserve to fucking breathe at all?
Did it boost your ego when you got me begging on my knees to stop hurting and watch you do it all over again as if I didn't mean shit to you?
Do tell me, every beautiful lies you feed me, and the words I poured from my soul to you, did it went down the drain just like the attitude you pulled on me?
I loved you with my bare hands and soul. I loved you with every fucking thing I have.
Was it your happiness to see me breaking down on the fucking floor, begging God to take this pain away, to make me stop breathing in this emptiness and constant ache that tugged at my heart?
I loved you every single day and it made me weak.
You hurt me every fucking time and it made me strong.
Tell me, did it hit you so fucking hard when I gave you a taste of your own medicine?
I hope it chokes you, remind you every air that you breathe in that that's what you did to me. And I hope you wished you'd treat me better than ever but it's too fucking late.
You lost me the moment you let me sleep in the pain that you caused.
You lost me the moment you looked into my eye and promised that you'd never hurt me.
You lost me the moment you looked at my name and felt nothing.
You lost m the moment you taught me how to live a life without you.
You lost me the moment you made me realize how toxic you were to me.
You lost me.
You lost me for so many times that all it took was the slap of realization that you fucking hurt me and broke me for you to finally see it.
You lost me and there's no turning back.
That's the fucking end of it.
yours truly,
ghost.
