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| " drop the act, I know you. " |
To the only girl that had my full support, my trust and a view of my bare soul.
You were the only person to actually notice my pain, to understand me, to help me when I hit rock bottom. You were the only I let in, the one I turn to when my head had finally consumed me. You understood the pain, I know you do because you've been through it too. The only one I've got when the world caved in on me. You saw me at my worst, at my desperate of times, my helplessness, my worthlessness, my self hatred, my self destructive methods, you saw it all. I trusted you with it.
3 years later, and you broke it.
I always heard of how people say that you can't be trusted, you were selfish, you hurt people in a way that it could break them but I never did believe it. It was just rumors, right? I know that you're not that bad. But you proved me wrong. You lay it out in the public for people to judge me. My secrets, the parts of me that were ugly, you just couldn't be a friend, can you? You were a 'friend' to me just because I could be the hot topic for your gossips with your sister, didn't you? For your mothers and fathers and the whole family, right? You threw my dirty laundry out as if it couldn't affect me at all. I trusted you and I thought you were my only true friend, but you plunge that knife deeper on my back. I should've known from the way your sister looked at me, judging me as if I'm something disgusting. Your mouth, is the reason my name is tainted in dirt. Your goddamn mouth that just couldn't be kept shut.
But tell me, did it make you feel better about yourself by bringing other people down? Did it make you feel better after you cheated on your boyfriend and left him as if he meant nothing for you? Did it make you feel better after you stole your best friend's boyfriend just to keep the fun? Did it make you feel better when you gave snide remarks about other people just because of your own insecurities? Did it make you feel better about the scars on your hand when you compare it to mine? Did it make you feel better about yourself when you blabbed about it to your whole family because you could finally make them see you're a whole lot better than my pathetic ass? Tell me.
You think you're an inspiring woman just because you tweeted a quote that had people awed for you. You think you're the cool girl when you throw around insults to other people, brag about the wrong doings you have done to hurt other people. You think you're everything that people need in their life, but you're the exact opposite. You talk about being open minded when you're the biggest hypocrite of it all. You were selfish in so many hurtful ways. And god, I pray that you find a way to fix it all.
You helped me, I can never deny that. But fuck you for all the things you did just to make yourself feel better. fuck you.
To the girl who I look up to when I was 15, fuck you because I finally know how you really are. I know what you did, and I hope that you're finally a better version of yourself. But your past mistakes will come to haunt you. You deserve whatever you get because that's what you've been giving.
yours truly,
the woman who's strong enough to say goodbye.
