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| " this mirror displays nothing but the mask you put on; fakeness. " |
You know how people change? like the weather, so abruptly that it knocks you down?
You don't know how or why it happened but it did and you're so desperately trying to turn back time and just savour every piece of goodness you have there but you fucking can't.
You're just staring at the goddamn wall, thinking of how much has changed.
How everything was so perfect, was so good that it completely blinded you. And when the rainbow blew over, everything turn out to be just this cruel dream.
Like him.
For once, I thought; this is what I needed. maybe this time it will be right.
Those "just cry, it's okay. I'm here for you" turns into "stop crying, enough, okay? what could you possible do?"
Those "I want to know you, and I won't rush you or push you" turns into "just please tell me, talk to me, I want to settle everything now"
Those "it's okay, take your time. it's never wrong to be weak" turns into "I need you to be strong for me, i need it."
I was exhausted of love, sick and tired of it. Who would have thought this beautiful thing people keep romanticising about turns out to be this awful thing that weakens you, tire you out to the point you don't even have the strength to even breathe.
It wasn't just about love. Trust.
For a split second, I thought, I would've met new people, the ones I actually need in this life but I was drowning in a crowd of fakeness. These people, this society are horrible. How selfish human beings are when it comes to their own benefits. How cruel they were to satisfy their own lust and needs by hurting and tossing around people's hearts. How much pain they caused us without realising how deep the scar that they have left.
I am tired of trying to be strong.
I am tired of holding back tears.
I am tired of pretending that I'm fine.
I am tired of hiding my pain just to make other people happy.
I am tired of even breathing.
yours truly,
ghost.
